Man-Turkey!

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I’ll be honest: the Thanksgiving cards aren’t the most entertaining of the lot. Halloween cards can be ridiculous, but they’re already supposed to be creepy. The Christmas cards are so anachronistic that almost anything seems out of place. And some of the old Easter and Valentine’s Day cards are just surreal.

But Thanksgiving? A lot of turkey and a lot of women cooking stuff.

Occasionally, though, you get some winners, and these things are some of the most god-awfully frightening images I’ve ever seen.

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Nothing about that is redeeming. Not the chubby face. Not the obvious fact that it’s not at all supposed to be a costume but a mutant. Not even the weird way the captions are all out of whack like “Greeting Thanksgiving” or “Thanksgiving Remembrances” or some other random phrase that no one ever said.

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The lesson here is that Thanksgiving can actually be hell for reasons other than having to eat with your extended family, who will probably bring up politics in some aggressively insensitive way. But at least you can imagine them turned into some kind of horrible creature like these that can only wish for a swift death. Happy Thanksgiving!

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