You Can’t Handle the Corn!

THANKSGIVING MEANS CORN. ONLY ALL-CAPS CAN EXPRESS HOW MUCH THANKSGIVING IS CORN. THANKSGIVING CORN MUST BE HUGE CORN. CORN CORN CORN!

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THIS CORN IS HUGE!

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THIS CORN IS ALSO HUGE!

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THIS CORN IS BIGGER THAN YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!

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YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE CORN.

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GOD’S VERY OWN ANGELS CAN’T HANDLE THE CORN!

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THERE’S SO MUCH CORN IT COMES IN THREE-PACKS!

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THIS CORN IS SO PUMPED IT’S ACHINGLY ERECT!

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THIS CORN IS BIGGER THAN A GODDAM PUMPKIN!

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FRICKING TURKEYS CAN RIDE IN THIS CORN!

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It’s a MAIZE-ERATTI! (Stolen from a friend.)

GODDAMIT I GOTTA WRAP A BOW AROUND MY CORN!

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CORN!

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