Feline Fright

Oh, I avoid them all right.

I’m repeating myself, but it can’t be said enough: I don’t like cats. I’ve explained why before because people really like the cat cards. And I don’t.

Look at that smug bastard. Taking advantage of little kids! Nice! Asshole…

That’s a natural problem at Halloween because of ye old ubiquitous black cat. Let me say, though, if any of you actually think black cats are naturally evil, don’t be an idiot who makes life awful for animal shelters around Halloween. Attempts to adopt black cats specifically to torture them actually go up around this time of year. People suck, even more than cats.

But even cat lovers have to agree that some of these things are just plain wrong.

This cat aids and abets evil.

It’s not always that they’re doing weird or creepy things. Sometimes, it’s just that sense that they’re planning something bad for you.

We would like to eat you while you sleep.

And I can’t decide if it’s worse when you actually see them in the process of gathering an army to carry out your destruction.

No! Do not sing! You sing of our doom!

Sometimes, though, there’s just this sense of feline insanity that comes through a few of the images.

Our destiny is to scratch and kill!

Sometimes it’s the feline killer instinct that doesn’t even fear the otherworldly horrific supernatural.

“I’ll cut you, demon-spawn animate pumpkin thing!”

Sometimes it’s simple murderous rage.

Those pumpkin people are about to see their own seedy insides.

And sometimes, it’s the sheer terror of the unknown happening inside their tiny, furry bodies that makes me fear the darkness.

Even the drum knows this is wrong.

You know what…it’s just too much. Here. Just…here. Look upon your end.






Let’s end on a high note, though. One less cat…




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